Huh.

Alright.

2010-09-12T09:48:00.000+08:00

I'll go on indefinite leave here for now.

Love,
Roan

Morning walk again.

2010-07-29T14:20:00.004+08:00

You're cooler than me.

2010-07-18T14:42:00.003+08:00

So my birthday was a week ago and it was expectedly uneventful. I just stayed home and played couch potato. Well, the boyfriend and I had dinner and ice cream the night before so that was our sort of celebration. We dined at The Gustavian and had dessert at Gelatissimo.

I'm not really a big fan of celebrations. Last year my friends and I just had lunch. I can't handle a crowd and I'm a bad host.

In another news, my hands hurt. I washed some socks, underwear and blouses in two batches. I like doing the laundry actually. After that, I rearranged and tranferred clothes from one closet to another. There's a lot of them I swear and they were old and dusty. They were Ed's mum's and brother's old clothes and mine and Ed's.

Right now I'm waiting for Asfer's text if we'd go to church and take photos afterwards. She hasn't texted yet and I'm kinda sleepy so yeah.

I'm currently reading Anthony Horowitz's The Raven's Gate. It's book one of the Power of Five series and of supernatural thriller bend. It's good so far.

Saw Inception yesterday, by the way. I heart it. The first time I heard about the movie I swore to watch it. You have Christopher Nolan, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt and I like movies that make me think and inspire me to head to a library. It also made me wonder how I could make use of my dreams despite of their weirdness. You see, I dream every effing night and some of them are nightmares. I usually remember fragments but there are also times when I remember an entire saga. Most are recurring and have the same themes (flying, running away, getting stabbed, avoiding murder, tsunamis, rivers, lakes and seas, telekinesis, etcetera). You bet my subconscious manifests itself to me frequently and that I have a lot of repressed anxieties and emotions. You know I just wish I could build new situations in new worlds so I won't have to suffer being chased by bad people. I want to keep the flying and telekinesis bits, though.

Yeah, I like being random.

Hak.

2010-07-10T16:06:00.000+08:00

You can start suspecting I'm blogging somewhere else.

Self-indulgent

2010-07-01T10:28:00.001+08:00

I want to start another blog. This would be my 4th.

Amft.

P*******a, andaming nagugutom sa mundo fashionista ka pa rin.

2010-06-26T18:17:00.006+08:00

WHO BUYS THIS???

When I saw this, I blurted WTF?!? Okay I get it. For me who's just an ordinaryong manggagawa, it's utterly unreasonable. I perfectly know the market clearly isn't me or the circle I belong to. So my reaction is nowhere near unexpected.

P1.41M LV backpack = a car, or a lot, or tons of geeky gadgets, or hundreds of clothes and shoes, or start up a small enterprise, or thousands of books, or considerable amount of materials to repair desks and chairs of a public school, or school supplies and uniforms for poor children, or probably a month of food supply for families... I could go on. If spent wisely, a million and a half could go miles for those who need it.

Okay probably I'm just overwhelmed by what I saw in a glossy magazine. Probably this infamous bag could bring extreme joy to those who can afford it. I wouldn't know.

[Blog entry title is actually the name of Radioactive Sago Project's 3rd(?) studio album.]

5:00 a.m.

2010-06-14T07:34:00.001+08:00

Yey!

2010-06-02T16:03:00.004+08:00

WARNING: This is a self-indulgent post.

When I bought my SE K800i camera phone buzillion of years ago, I was contented. It was the phone that had the highest pixel count at that time and I was pretty much satisfied with its results. I was in love with my phone (ay yati, makahinumdom nuon ko sa akong wandering sa MoA da! Aw haha!). I took photos of paintings, sunrise and sunsets, and people.

Two years I've been wanting to buy a camera, even a lomographic one, just to satisfy a need (self-gratification). And I thought I had to buy some sort of a reward for myself after 5 years of work. The past months I've been thinking of putting something up. Another outlet. Something creative. although my creativity is mediocre.

Anyway, so I wanted a Micro Four Thirds cam pero I didn't have the budget. So I was choosing between LX3 and G11 (thanks DP Review and Cameralabs). I really wanted LX3 kay mas barato (hakhak). But LX3 was very elusive - sold out in 3 stores I went to. So I bought G11 instead.

I can now start my 'project'! Yeey!

Hopia.

2010-05-18T14:22:00.002+08:00

In a taxi. Chicosci's Seven Black Roses is playing on Manong's stereo.

Ako: Tagnaa kinsay nagkanta karon.
Siya: Clue.
Ako: Ilang name nagstart sa letter C and nag-end sa letter I.
Siya: Hmm.
Ako: Pinoy sila.
Siya: (clueless)
Ako: Actually, nagchange sila'g name. Sauna nag-end ilang name ug 'E' then gishorten nila so 'I' na.
Siya: Cueshe?
Ako: Dili Cueshe! So CUESHI na sila karon?

I really had a good laugh.

I bought a flowery, skinny dress today.

2010-05-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

YIKES.

Have to.

2010-04-24T17:09:00.003+08:00

I have been wanting to buy a really good camera that has the following features: excellent image output quality, high zoom range and can be manually adjusted (optional: HD movie recording). DSLR-looking but lighweight. I also want it sharp, fast and great in low light situations. I'm thinking of Canon Powershot G11, Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3 or FZ28, Olympus SP-800 UZ or Nikon Coolpix P100 or L110. I don't want to a buy a DSLR because 1) I'm not a fan of bulky gadgets, and 2) Ed may buy one.

I want all of the aforementioned features to be present in just one camera but based on reviews online (mostly at DP Review), I may not have to settle w/out 1 or 2 of them. I won't settle for less but I also have to consider if I have money to burn (save!). As long as most of the features are there and I get the results I want, I'm fine. My goal is to already have it by end of July or start of August. *excited*

Tempest.

2010-04-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
[ T.S. Eliot ]

Dependayunit.

2010-04-21T14:16:00.002+08:00

Lepore.

2010-04-18T06:18:00.001+08:00

Finally done with the new layout!

I am dancing to 'My Hair Looks Fierce' to celebrate! =))

So, there.

Flying fiesta.

2010-04-01T10:15:00.001+08:00

Finally, I'm excited and I have something to look forward to.

I remember at the start of the year my colleagues and I said we feel 2010 is a good year for us. we felt it. I want it to be so.

I can be so ungrateful - I whine a lot when I have so many things to be thankful for, I'm lazy and complain about getting bored when there are so many things and activities I could do, I get sad and depressed over not-so-important issues.

But I fervently hope that this new found enthusiasm would not wane and that I would always discover new and fun things to do with my time and friends.

I would like to take more mini-vacations as much as possible (domestic tourism!), take photographs and write a documentary (hala!), walk and jog more... basta, be more creative and active as much as I could.

I hope I could finally give my parents a vacation here since Mama has been wanting to come to Cebu (I didn't know I have Cebuano relatives until I got here). Then they could finally meet Ed.

Ed & Asfer, I look forward to the great things we could do... before the end of the world! :))

Eeep.

2010-03-31T15:09:00.007+08:00

Hullo. Long time, no see. But now, sinaw. XD

For my lack of creativity, I'm just gonna post some collages here. I already have a very seminal post prepared with a bunch of whining, boredom and ungratefulness there but you know, I have to lighten up sometimes.

These photos are very personal (echos!) so don't you dare. Alam kong tumaba at pangit ako so please lang. :)

Sa uulitin.

Hey.

2010-01-17T03:00:00.001+08:00

Things aren't the same anymore. But some still are.

hello again.

2009-08-02T16:08:00.002+08:00

Armi Millare: "Do you know another universal truth aside from love and math? Heartbreak! Kaya kung ayaw na sa 'yo, palit. Palit ulit kung ayaw na ng kapalit. Palit lang ng palit!"

Hahaha!

===

I am slowly turning my safety off.

dead air

2009-07-03T14:59:00.002+08:00

Hello Jiro. I shall hug you 'til you get limp and smell of sleep.

Kapoy ug explain. Dili man sad ko kabalo moexplain. So ang resulta, misinterpretation. Ana lang.

Feeling gyud nako usahay, non-existent ko or dili ko importante ug gikinahanglan sa ubang tao.

Unta makatuon ko nga completely dili na mag-expect or hope kay kapoy na gyud madisappoint ug mafrustrate. Panagsa na lang gani mag-ampo nga mahitabo ang mga gusto nako mahitabo, dili pa gyud magmaterialize. Mabaw lang man ko'g kalipay ba, nganong ing-ana pa man gyud?

Honestly usahay dili gyud ko ganahan sa akong sarili. Depressive, corny ug boring ko. Kinsa guy ganahan ana?

Gikapoy ko karong adlawa. Dili man bad day sa office. Boring lang gyud ang life. Boring lang gyud akong life. Kapoy.

I want to get away for a while. Miskin sa rest days lang nako.

Please ayaw ko sermoni'g 'life is beautiful', 'be happy' and the like kay mura lang na'g inspirational and spiritual books that I utterly dislike. You cannot do a Paulo Coelho on me. Do not tell me to appreciate life because I do, it's just that anong problema nya saken?

What I'm doing now - saying all these BS - is not being helpful to my emotional and psychological state. But as of now, mao lang ni akong outlet so eff it.

This will be in Bisaya.

2009-06-26T14:18:00.003+08:00

Hala ka uy, pagsure gyud.

Kasyagiton ko nga kakataw-unon. EEEEEEEKKKK! Hahaha! Panagsa lang baya ni so lubos-luboson na nako hahaha. Ingon pa nila Jill ug Asfer, i-enjoy lang daw nako ni. ANA. Pero makatawa jud ko kay corny kaayo AS IN. Mahuraw man sad ta :D

Anyway, mao lang. Kapoy.

dep

2009-06-12T16:03:00.003+08:00

I feel extremely sad today.

===

Today, a year ago in Avid Liongoren's Project 365.

If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow

2009-06-11T12:17:00.001+08:00

I Need You Like a Donut Needs A Hole

Barry Louis Polisar

I need you like a donut needs a hole
Like pianos need fingers, heart and soul.
We go together like peanuts in a shell,
I'm gonna hold you in my arms like water in a well.

I love you like flowers love the sun,
Like birds love to fly and kids like to run,
Like trees love leaves and leaves turn brown,
Like rabbits in the meadow like to hop around.

When we are together, side by side
It's like a roller coaster and a carousel ride
The clouds all lift and sing with the trees,
The oak leaves dance along with the breeze.

I find this as cute as All I Want Is You. :)

Kay dugay na daw ko walay update.

2009-06-09T13:26:00.001+08:00

Hello.

Kapoy update. Daghan nahitabo, kapoy hinumdom ug sulat.

Kulot na pala ako. Marami na akong fans. Hahaha CHAR. To Asfer: Tseh! :)

Ilang weeks na kaming relaxed ang Monday production na usually (always?) haggard. Medyo nagagaanan ako sa trabaho ngayon kasi masaya ako sa mga katrabaho ko kahit minsan nakaka-migraine ang agents.

Ay, ako din pala bwiset:

Manager: Halika Roan, may ipapagawa ako sa 'yo.

Ako: Hmrph. Ano 'yan? Sige gagawin ko 'yan pero bayaran mo 'ko ng sampung Frutos.

Manager: Kapal ng mukha mo.

May nakita akong So Long, So Long and Thanks For All The Fish ni Douglas Adams sa Fullybooked, binili ko agad. Na-excite naman daw ako. Natuwa kasi ako ng bongga sa The Hitchhikers' Guide To The Galaxy. The previous times na napa-OhmyGod (OMG gyud :|) with matching slight na nganga (ew) was noong nakakita ako ng Mythology Class (Arnold Arre) at Mere Anarchy (Woody Allen).

Nafeel kong nairita si Ella sa akin noong walang kakurap-kurap kong sinabi na hindi ako naniniwalang wala syang gusto sa katabi nya. Sabi ni Pat, medyo nagalit nga rin daw si Ella dahil convinced na convinced kaming nahuhulog na nga sya. Nangako daw si Pat na di na nya lolokohin si Ella. Eh kasalanan ba naming obvious na obvious na sya, pinagkakaila pa nya? Haha. Jusker para kaming nasa high school.

Nanood ako ng Angels and Demons mag-isa. Namiss ko ang dati kong gawi.

Gusto ko talagang mag-Palawan ngayong July pero di na ako sure kung makakaya ng budget ko. Maglilipat-mansyon na kasi kami hahaha.

Umiiyak pa rin ako kapag nape-pressure. Irita pa rin ako sa mga taong Pentium 1 ang processing ng utak. Wala pa rin akong bagong eyeglasses. Malakas pa rin akong kumain. Mahilig pa rin ako sa maaalat.

Yun lang at marami pang iba.

Goodbye.

Who gives crap about the title?

2009-03-01T17:35:00.002+08:00

I think I saw L yesterday but I'm not that sure. The guy had a green "Feeling ARTIST" shirt and was chinito. But I have bad eyesight so I could never be certain.

Asfer, Kim and Maya are off to Manila this weekend to watch E-heads. I could go but decided not to. I had a dream that I was on the venue (but doesn't look like MoA to me) but never got to see them.

I'm still stuck with Bernhard Schlink's The Reader. I'm making very slow progress with it because I read it in bed when I'm already sleepy so I could not understand what the narrator was saying most of the time.

I am bored and boring and it's as if it wasn't my choice.

mcarthur.

2009-01-13T17:03:00.001+08:00

I shall read at least 15 books this year. (Will still stay away from reading teenybopper and chic lits [sounds like the bubble gum haha]). 'Ika nga ni Raymond, di ko keri or bet ang light reading.

I shall continue to be beef-free. I have not been eating beef for almost 5 years now I have forgotten how it tastes like.

I shall reduce my rice intake.

I shall manage my finances wisely. Save.

I shall spend one of my vacations somewhere other than Davao and Manila.

I shall hug my friends more.

I shall be more patient and be nicer to irritating people.

I shall eat more apples, yogurt, cheese and vegetables.

I shall buy a new pair of eyeglasses.

I shall dust off my 'bookshelf' more often.

I shall do and follow what I wrote here.

i love you sabado.

2009-01-10T15:03:00.001+08:00

New discovery: Margot and the Nuclear So So's - O' What A Nightmare! :)

Rey has come back from Davao but did not bring ube bars. He brought them durian candies and all these yemas instead. I hate him. Char.

Ginapansin na nako si Doppelganger pero panagsa lang. Kasi New Year's resolution ko daw ang maging (a little) friendly sa kanya; di naman nya kasalanang may kamukha sya. He wore an orange shirt yesterday. I hate him, too. Hahaha char again.

One boring day in the office, I looked up "depression" in Wikipedia then realized I had almost all the symptoms of a depressed person back in college. I started really feeling awful by the end of my 2nd year (2003) and it waned sometime in 2005. My father even told to consult a psychiatrist or talk to friends if it could help me. I didn't with his first suggestion. Only a very few (one?) knew about my depression. I think it was serious but I didn't really get much help. I just dealt with it every freaking painful day. I still feel negative occasionally. I have been dealing with this for a long time I'm afraid it has becoming my nature.

I so wanna buy Neil Gaiman's Murder in Paradise and give it to Raymond. It's so gay he'd love it! :)

Thank you very much for allowing me to bore you to death. :)

high pitch

2009-01-06T15:46:00.001+08:00

OH EM GEE. I'M SO HAPPY FOR JINI. SQUEEEEEEEE. *ONE BIG HUG*

The Ting Tings

2008-12-31T16:26:00.002+08:00

Standing in the Way of Control and Shut Up and Let Me Go

Bayani Agbayani.

2008-11-28T16:22:00.000+08:00

1. Back from MNL. Hay.

2. Jim, if you're reading this, I'd like to let you know I owe you one. For what? Well, dili sa nako isulti kay echusero ka. Hahaha.

3. According to a moviegoer during a Twilight screening: "Pwede per chapter?" Hahaha. Meanwhile, I was counting all the cheesy lines in the movie. They all killed me. "I no longer have the strength to stay away from you" (or something like that) was a murderer. Mush-mouths, they are.

4. Of things left unsaid and undone --- Okey lang. Di naman importante. Wow, ang bitter! :D

5. I've gotten the hang of reading Trainspotting in its mother tongue. God knows I'm trying because I heart James McAvoy and Ewan McGregor. It wasn't that difficult to figure out the following, among others (pero nag-nosebleed pud ko kadali): aw = all; ah = I; no = not; brar = brother; wisnae = wasn't; doon = down, etc. I'm reading it aloud (quite unusual for me). Dunno, it helps me understand.

6. Dear kuya ni Edd,

Where is the Supersampler? I want to buy Colorsplash as well, you know.

But I can wait a little bit more,

Roan

7. I'm fatter than ever.

8. You: Nice meeting you.

Me: Uh, okay.

I so like the inappropriateness of my response. It has "ohmygodyou'resuchabeautifulbeingiloveyou" all over it.

Nice meeting you.

2008-11-22T18:40:00.004+08:00

Dear Italia,

You are so pretty, it's heartbreaking.

Love,
Roanjean

Sunrise.

2008-11-16T13:08:00.004+08:00

I hope to get a better camera soon.

I didn't come here to be happy.

2008-10-25T18:43:00.003+08:00

Yuck. Emo.

===

Kimee, Pat and I went to this SM Live in Fashion thing held at Paseo Entertainment Center. The moment I entered the venue, I knew the crowd wouldn't be that fun. They did not disappoint me. They were as dead as that frog in front of our apartment. You will feel sorry for the great bands who had a lot of great energy that night.

===

I will be in Manila next month for this Rihanna/Chris Brown concert, among other reasons. Max of one week, min of 2 nights. Wala lang.

===

May trangkaso na naman ako. Yihey.

Bagong friends ni Plastic Lightsaber Boy.

2008-10-07T17:46:00.004+08:00

Ben and Newton.

Chickenjoy.

2008-09-15T18:18:00.001+08:00

I stay even when it is time to cross the road.

Ceres

2008-09-15T16:45:00.002+08:00

I'm really gonna kill Asfer for advertising that Cafe Manila's download/upload capability is as fast as a lightning. It IS moving like an effin' snail now.

Anyhoo, I went to Simala with my Atenews pals and some other Eng'g board reviewers yesterday. Simala is a Marian sanctuary/shrine/pilgrimage site. I didn't know it is until I got there; I thought we were just going to this historical church. There was a very long queue, a lot of people and it was very hot and we didn't eat breakfast.

I've never been to such kind of place. I am never a devotee of anything and never been to any pilgrimage site until then so imagine my cluelessness on the whole thing. They handed a piece of paper to me and I was like "Para asa ni?". It was for my petition/prayers; I should write them down then we're going to drop them in a prayer box. Wow.

I started mine with "I don't know but they said I'm supposed to write my prayers here..." Honestly.

They also had these colored candles, a color for a specific prayer. I was amused.

I felt strange doing something I don't really believe in, just went with the flow, for the sake of. And I had to go far and get baked in the sun just to do it. Please don't get me wrong, I believe in God. I am just not religious. I greatly respect the people who are and if they want to spend their lives to such belief. I just have my own ways.

But it was good to reunite with my Atenews friends again. It has been a very long time :) Ainna couldn't make it. Gi-harrass na lang namo sya nga manlibre :D

Hello all.

2008-08-26T17:11:00.004+08:00

May nilagay akong bgmusic dito - Shut Up And Let Me Go ng The Ting Tings.

Kung ayaw nyong marinig or naiirita kayo, pakiclose lang ng blog ko.

Yun lang.

Salamat.

Happy Birthday.

2008-08-10T06:39:00.005+08:00

071108 by Avid Liongoren.

Hello, I feel miserable today.

2008-08-04T11:01:00.007+08:00

And I want to believe it's just hormonal.

I'm watching Grey's Anatomy on DVD and I cry almost every damn episode, it's pathetic.

I am very emotional and sensitive and jaded and depressed these days. As I've said, I hope this is just hormonal imbalance or what not because I didn't have my menstruation last month.

I feel hopeless. At everything.

===

Barista: Hello! *big smile*
Raymond and I: Hi.
Barista: Are you Koreans?
Raymond and I: No.

I swear I was surprised by her question, I was stifling my laughter and disbelief. Raymond is Chinese and I want to believe I have a drop of Jap blood. Must really be the hair.

And then...

Raymond: *looking at some Russian* Kumusta naman ang high waist ni kuya?
Ako: Pati medyas high-waisted.

Sandalo.

2008-07-23T16:26:00.006+08:00

Hey there. I was supposed to post something like "Hey I'm back! Unwelcome me!" or "I just turned 23 but who cares" kind of entry but I got this message from a friend from college whom I fondly call 'Crush'. I was swept away.

Roan dear,

Do you remember when we used to sit by the coffee benches pretending to study for our law class but talk about girls and love and cartoon characters and gadgets and blueberry cheesecake and pizza and our impending philosophy 106 assignments and that eerie place near the 5th floor comfort room where the lightbulb had gone out?

I miss you terribly.

Nagmukha yata akong lesbian sa "...talk about girls" :D

Pau, I remember when we used to sit by the purple, yellow and green coffee table benches at the 5th floor talking about drug use and the chairs falling from the sky and revel bars and Spongebob Squarepants and my supposed former love affair and the state of our government and ghosts in Canisius while pretending to study media law and argue over cases.

This post is for today.

2008-06-22T11:34:00.002+08:00

The burial's this Wednesday. Whutthe, I thought it would be Saturday or Sunday. Now my father wants me to be there ASAP which means I have to be on leave by Tuesday and I haven't even told Raymond I have to be off that soon. Now again my father became rather upset and bully-ish when I told him I'd fly to Davao so my sister and I could go together to his province. He was like 'Why Davao? Just go directly to Cagayan de Oro (it's nearer to Lanao del Sur) or just meet up in Maramag because you have to be here the soonest and we only have little time to see your grandmother one last time!" Okaaaaay. I know you're in some mood and all but please I don't know anything about CDO and Maramag. I don't know how to go to Lanao del Sur alone and my sister does. I also need her to keep me sane JUST IN CASE some drama will happen. Gaaaah I'd like to bitch and cry and curse NOW.

I'm sorry.

Okay, I'm upset and in some mood as well. I'm now imagining that my paternal relatives are planning to have me deliver some kind of speech for the burial. Gaah I'd rather sit, mourn and get nostalgic. With all due respect to my grandmother, I loved her AND she knew I don't talk much.

I guess what I am really worrying now is the possibility of my father bullying and blackmailing me and giving me that look if I oppose to his demands, then leave an almost unbearable heavy air of disappointment on me. It would be just great. Really. I'd rather be invisible right now.

Hey grandma, have a good life up there. Tell me about galaxies, nebulae, black holes, constellations, space ships and aliens, okay?

Just imagine this was posted yesterday.

2008-06-22T11:26:00.003+08:00

1. Yesterday, it rained the whole day. Possibly today and tomorrow, too. I listened to Tori Amos and ate Pretzels. Hello Frank.

2. I had this sweet dream that involved a person, a place, a letter and a book. I won't give much details because I don't want to get any more obvious. It would be nice if I get that feeling. A realization: I almost always don't get to the desirable end AND I always find ways to complicate things like looking for proofs and reason in trivialities and the obvious.

3. In our family, women die first. That's my theory. My first encounter with death in the family was that of my maternal grandmother's. I liked her because she let me eat candies and ice candy, climb trees, collect Ovaltine toys and told me not to touch electric posts because I'd turn into steel. Second was my father's aunt whom we called "Mommy". She was talkative and cheerful. Her household seemed to be always full with people - relatives and neighbors. I was quite surprised how thin she became when complications of diabetes and some heart disease took their toll. She didn't like hospitalizations, check-ups, and regulation on her food intake. She also told me she preferred to just die right away than see her eldest daughter work her ass off for her meds and all. I couldn't say anything. Third is just recently, my paternal grandmother. Father hasn't told me the cause of death yet. I bet she just died of old age. She was tough, thrifty, spiritual and talkative, too. She enjoyed and never failed to repetitively tell these two stories to people: 1. how I munched a handful of chili when she left me under a tree to attend to her beloved garden-slash-farm, and 2. the morning I asked my father if he was going to the office when I saw him in boots, straw hat, old and torn pants and shirt, and lagaraw (he was off to my grandfather's cornfield). They all happened when I was, I think, between 3-5 years old during one or two of our countless trips/vacations in Lanao del Sur. These two events in my childhood resulted to my unfriendliness to spicy food and my grandmother's habit of referring their bukid (hers and her neighbors') as their 'office'. These three women had been mothers to me.

6:00AM Central Time. Everyday.

2008-06-08T10:12:00.004+08:00

022308, MyProject365
Avid Liongoren

rehab 3.

2008-06-08T08:10:00.007+08:00

Some photos. The reso's quite ugly because I just put them together using Paint. Eek.

1. Toy Kingdom

2. Bag modelling (SM parking lot, while waiting for the store to open)

3. Numero Doce

4. Goodbye Carlo (farewell get-together for Ning2x)

5. Etc. (Nemo, blur, Juan)

China chop.

2008-06-06T08:45:00.004+08:00

Got one.

*laughter here*

It was a last minute craziness I jumped into last Saturday night. Raymond, Win and I were preparing to go to this anniversary celebration in Mango Square and I wanted to iron my sumkinda bangs. Raymond said "Halika, i-full na nga natin yang bangs mo!" to which I willingly agreed. We just used my scissor which I use for cutting and snipping paper, price tags, etc. The result was quite satisfactory, though.

That Saturday night (to Sunday morning) was something. I've been to Numero Doce because I tag along with Raymond, Win and Pat but I never got drunk like I did that night. By the way, Doce is a club with straights, gays, bisexuals and...you get the picture. Everybody was dancing and enjoying and all that and I was a curious little newbie party-goer.

I got drunk. I danced w/ a bisexual whose face I couldn't remember anymore. I puked but nothing came out because I hadn't eaten anything since 1:00pm that Saturday. I lost a pair of earrings. I got 2 new cigarette burns (got the old ones the other Saturday night c/o Pat and Anonymous). I went to bed at 5:30am (Sunday), woke up by 10:30am to eat noodles (I don't like noodles but I ate it anyway because I was so hungry. Wasn't able to consume it all, though.), went back to bed by 11:30am and didn't wake up until 4:30pm when Win knocked on my door and told me we're going to Ayala Center to have a decent meal.

While we were on our way to Ayala, I said to myself I'll never do this again. Everything was temporary and hang-overs are terrible. I don't want to lose a newly-bought 100php pair of earrings again. Gaak, I'm so shallow.

I guess what I want to say is that some things and people changed me here but I know that the things I want haven't changed and I sometimes feel I still don't know what to do with my life. Probably that's why I try and do a lot of things here, be it mediocre, shallow, tasking or serious, because I'm searching for what I want. Or, I'm trying to do these trivialities because I'm filling up something empty, and hoping it would become an overflowing bucket of happiness.

Unsa ba.

2008-05-29T06:44:00.001+08:00

Today is Diego Castro Day.

Hahaha.

Kim and Honey came running to us and squeaked "Si Diego Castro nasa baba!" while trying to catch their breath and suppress the excitement. He's with our Recruitment and Marketing something.

I was like, "Who's Diego Castro? Yung nasa Gimik?". They said no he was in TGIS. Apparently, he was in both shows. Or so we think.

"Sya ba yung may kapatid na nasa banda?", I asked.

"Ano ka ba si Jao Mapa yun! Si Diego Mapa yung kapatid nya!", Kimee screamed at me.

Ladies and gentlemen, June Keithly + Angelo Castro = Diego Castro.

rehab v.2

2008-05-18T04:55:00.004+08:00

Travel and Consumer Vertical's summer outing:

Us. OM Sandy. Low, low, low.

With Norje. With Pat. After the downpour.

LiLs. PD Peter. With Asfer.

More photos here.

Rehab.

2008-05-04T04:08:00.009+08:00

Asfer. Baby back ribs. Pose. Blue, green, white.

Hanging bridge. Turistas. Labor Day. Oplan Hug-A-Seacow.

Soccer. Around the world. A university of fish. The support group.

Emo. YoU. Photographer & Korean (as per Kim). Sunrise.

Oplan Incubus. A Jap, a Korean and a haciendero. Sunset. Raymond, Kim & I.

1234 tell me that you love me more.

2008-05-03T11:39:00.006+08:00

1. Last Thursday production was one of my haggardest days. I was like doing 3-4 things at a time and I wanted to throw my headset and headphone (go figure the difference but anyway they're both wrapped around my neck), smash my PC and Avaya, scream at the agents to shut-the-hell-up-use-your-common-sense and go to the restroom and lock myself in a cubicle for the rest of my life (OA). I even found myself telling some people "Wag kang makulit please lang baka matilian kita" (sorry Kimee) and "Can you, like, ask the other supervisors? [because as you can see nakapila kayo noh?!]" (sorry Bianca) and, when I spoke with an airline agent, diarrhead ten acerbic sentences without punctuating. But who chose this anyway?

2. Dear Shellac - Oo, kaila gyud ka niya ug nakit-an na nimo sya. Whenever I visit his Friendster site (I rarely do) and see his new photos, I always have the same reaction: Leche kagwapo gyud! Nganong gibulagan man nako ka? Ngano tanga man kaayo ko? Pestekagwaponimobulaginaimonguyabbehlechenganowalamantakagilovetangamangudkoequalsbitterness. Makatawa ko sa akong sarili, actually. Bitter man gud kaayo ko ba 'pag sya na ang storyahan. You know Sugarfree's Kwentuhan, right? I could so relate to that, cellphone version. I even called in absent (I think I reasoned I was sick haha) because I enjoyed talking to him. Juice-ko-pong-malabnaw diba? It was also funny because he gave me and himself an ultimatum: the 4th time I reject him, that's it, he's going to give up on me and move on with his life. Imagine-a ra gud na, Chinese gyud, nagatuo nga malas ang number 4. Unfortunately, I didn't take him seriously because I was stoopid and masochistic and hopeful and in love with another that's why I'm Bitter Ocampo right now. Pero ambot, makatawa ko maghunahuna sa among giagian, what/wherever it was. Miskin kami magstorya about sa past, makatawa. Well, anyway mao lang. Pero gwapo gyud sya (para sa akoa). - Love, Bru.

3. Hello Leigh. Belated hapee birthday Leigh. Goodbye Leigh.

4. Hello Asfer. Congrats Asfer :)

...

2008-04-26T10:21:00.001+08:00

1. Natapos na rin ako sa SCP after 6 months. Kahilak gud ko'g dugo.

2. I hate APE's.

3. I only love our IT dept. because they have this MP3 server that I could access and listen to everyday. Makes me sane.

4. Sunog kaayo ko. We had a trip to Bantayan Island last weekend and it was worth the haggardness (It was a 5-hour travel by land and sea, economy class haha). Buuuuuut! Our photo equipment was first class! Canon EOS 450D DLSR! Ganahan kaayo si Asfer :) Ug murag napressure ko mopalit ug laptop.

5. I hope this is just a streak of pre-menstrual syndrome. I get irritated easily by trivial annoyances. I I don't like getting reflective slash introspective when all I could think about are sad things.

6. Lami kaayo ilabay or itago sa baul akong cellphone. Pero dili pwede.

7. When I listen to KT Tunstall's Suddenly I See, I think of Angelina Jolie, Nelson Mandela, Chin-chin Gutierrez, etc. when it's actually all about Patti Smith.

8. You don't send me messages no more. Great. And there's no sarcasm there.

9. Pesteeeee kagwapo gyud ni L!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :|

[No subject]

2008-04-18T20:54:00.001+08:00

I am posting an entry today because I want to do something productive but my will is only geared towards an output not work-related. I'm so tired. Tamad-itis galore. Choco Mucho could not even do much with all that sugar. I got some projects to do which are already waaaay past the deadline but my brain cells are being dormant. Nag-init pa gyud akong ulo ganina sa supe call. Leche kaayo.

===

Asfer has bought a Canon EOS 450D! Yiheeeeee~ Hello DLSR-ing in Bantayan Island.

===

Speaking of Bantayan, that will be tomorrow. It was supposed to be Raymond's team building but approximately 90% backed out because of some reasons. Naimbyerna gyud ang bayot. So it became the relocators' getaway. Nine months na diay mi diri.

Tre.

2008-04-11T23:54:00.001+08:00

1. The US travel industry is going nuts.

2. Yesterday he and his girlfriend celebrated their first anniversary. I feel like I've been a mistress for 10 months.

3. Tulo na ko katuig sa PS. Yihey? =|

I drown in your crystalline blue eyes.

2008-04-10T06:04:00.001+08:00

Okay so I didn't really watch sick psycho and massacre movies last weekend. I went James McAvoy-ing instead. I watched Atonement, Penelope and The Last King of Scotland (again). *squeeeeee*

And I forgot to clean my room.

[dot][dot]

2008-04-05T05:26:00.002+08:00

How many times do I have to be sick in month? Only a week ago I had cough and colds and now I got URTI (I think) again. Tuesday and Wednesday I got this terrible body pain and headache then Thursday I got dry cough and snot. Today I'm losing my voice and my throat itches and my upper back hurts and I only breathe through my mouth. Oh how I love my immune system.

===

Gahd. Why am I still affected? I should not be, even a teeny. I should feel indifference and all. This betrays my purpose of being here.

===

Due to my current happy state of health, I think I'll just loaf around the house - sleep, eat, wash clothes, watch massacre and some really sick, sick psycho movies. Yeah. Or if I feel wistful, I'd watch Gilmore Girls, CSI, and/or, possibly, Lord of the Rings. And oh, please remind me to clean my room.

The Crowned Goddess.

2008-04-01T00:18:00.001+08:00

To him she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter.

- from "Love in the Time of Cholera", Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Why didn't I notice this in the movie? Probably because it wasn't even there and there's what you call cinematic limitation, demmet.

Good thing I decided to watch the movie first before finishing the book because of little things like this. *demanding*

[dot]

2008-03-28T05:18:00.003+08:00

I feel days swoosh by so fast.

I got sick again. I'm better now but I still sound nasal. I could no longer count how many times I got URTI since July of last year. Cebu pollution is so boring my immune system doesn't charge up.

We had our last theme day three days ago and I was Korean. Why? Because that was the only costume I found in ukay. The real-time analyst called out to me and said "Lady-Choi-kumusta-na-ang-pagluto-sa-kusina?". I don't even know if Jumong is male or female, least Lady Choi and pagluluto sa kusina.

Preng: Nitan-aw gyud ka'g concert?!

Ako: Oo.

Preng: Hala ka uy. Pero di ba dili man ka ganahan ug Incubus?

Ako: Okey lang man. Maka-relate man ko sa ilaha usahay.

Preng: Pero dili man jud ka as in fan dba?! Pila pud ang ticket?

Ako: 3,900k something. Okey lang lagi, nalingaw ug nalipay man ko.

Preng: Hala ka...Kung ako pa ato gipalit na 'to nako'g bag or sapatos nga Nine West.

Ako: Dili man ko ingana. Mas mogasto pa ko'g CDs ug libro kaysa sa mga inganang butang.

Preng: Basta uy, grabe jud. Amazing.

I didn't expect them to understand.

To Chocolate Ice Cream, ambot nimo. Pasabta ko.

Gimingaw man diay.

2008-03-01T14:15:00.001+08:00

(2:49 PM) Roan Juliet: ako pud gusto mobalik manila
(2:49 PM) Roan Juliet: as eeen
(2:49 PM) aryl_eam25: nganu?
(2:51 PM) Roan Juliet: di ko ganahan diri
(2:52 PM) Roan Juliet: cguro kay wala pa jud nko naexplore ang cebu
(2:52 PM) aryl_eam25: nganu?
(2:52 PM) Roan Juliet: ambot uy
(2:52 PM) aryl_eam25: ay...
(2:52 PM) Roan Juliet: di ko ganahan sa cebu
(2:52 PM) aryl_eam25: makamingaw manila ay
(2:52 PM) Roan Juliet: hahaha
(2:52 PM) aryl_eam25: :)
(2:52 PM) aryl_eam25: ay mali
(2:52 PM) aryl_eam25: :(
(2:52 PM) Roan Juliet: makamingaw jud
(2:52 PM) aryl_eam25: hehe
(2:54 PM) Roan Juliet: gimingaw nko sa mga butang nga dati gnareklamo nko
(2:54 PM) aryl_eam25: korek

===

We will have another client visit and heard that OM will be taking her to Plantation Bay. Bet Raymond and Win will tag along. Or the other supervisors. I'm so envious already. Pero kebs, I will have my own mini-vacation during that weekend. Yihey.

The Roadrunner.

2008-02-23T00:51:00.001+08:00

Sya: Roan, you're early!

Ako: Oh yes! I'm only 7 minutes late!

Yebuh.

This fing wot you know nuffin' about.

2008-02-16T15:11:00.001+08:00

Manila's weather is unpredictable but Cebu's crazier. Or it's just me.

I swear they're gonna kill me, no KILL ME, if I wouldn't be able to submit this document soon. Gaaah it's been so late, later than late, they couldn't wait to cut my head off. Pfft.

My last entry was nostalgic because that was around the time when Nes returned to Manila and 3 of the relocators were no longer connected with the company. I miss Ford, funny Ford. Lisa and Jeff, it was some kind of leaving-on-a-jetplane moment, almost literally. I hated it but we had (and have) to move on. I've had done a lot of leaving and that was my share of being left behind. Now, another 2 relocators, Trixie and Jones, resigned and another one is also moving back to MNL, Gene. Trixie will always be the "Madame". Jones is the one and only Baby Bangs. Gene is Monggo Man.

Bakit di na ako nagbabasa ng Inquirer ngayon? Walong buwan na yata akong walang alam sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko.

Sony Ericsson K850 vs. Nokia N95 shootout. I love SE but Nokia won. Conclusion: wala akong perang pambili.

My brother dropped out of school again. Gaah I don't know what to do with him. It's like I'm Phoebe yelling "Daddy's gonna kill you!" at Holden and then covering my head with a pillow until he gets "killed" and all in The Catcher in the Rye.

Little Britain's first season was a riot. However I got rather disturbed by its second season's first 2 episodes. I just don't like discrimination, is all. I really think it had offended a lot of people but if I endured Borat then I'd survive this. :D

Slide. [edited]

2008-01-26T19:32:00.000+08:00

I don't know. I was just feeling nostalgic and all.

c. 2005 - 2008. There are a lot of photos not included because: a) it takes a geddemn lot of time to upload, and b) I prefer not to because: b.1) I'm not ready to, and b.2) I may cause trouble. Whatever.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I miss a lot of people and places it kills me. Since I could not come up with an intelligent, lovely entry (I could not think of intelligent, lovely words), I just thought this may be enough to tell these people that I love them. At those certain moments, I was happy because I was with them or I was in a place I was at home with.

Dead.

2008-01-23T13:53:00.001+08:00

Last week(?) it was Brad Renfro, now it's Heath Ledger.

My jaw dropped and I was gaping for at least 3 minutes when they told me about it.

Unbelievable. Crazileh.

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

Music Artists Meme

2008-01-19T14:00:00.001+08:00

Ni-tag ako ni Ma-anne para sa isang ganito rin kaya lang wala akong maisagot dun kaya ito na lang. Teka, bakit "meme"? *clueless*

10 artists you can think of now:

Barbie Almalbis
Incubus
Radiohead
Beyonce Knowles
Tori Amos
Imago
Regina Spektor
Coldplay
The Beatles
Up Dharma Down

-What was the first song you ever heard by #6?
"Rain Song"

-What is your favorite song of #2?

"I Miss You"

-What is your favorite lyric of #5?
"For me to take your word

I had to steal it"

-How many times have you seen #4 live?
Never. Pupunta sana akong MNL around that time na nagconcert sya dun, kaso nicancel ko kaya ayun. Malay ko ba kasi. Hmp.

-What is your favorite song by #7?

"Fidelity"

-Is there any song by #3 that makes you sad?
"Fake Plastic Trees"

What is your favorite lyric of #2?
I don't know. "To know that you feel the same as I do/Is a three-fold, utopian dream", probably.

What is your favorite song by #9?
"In My Life"

When did you first get into #1?
In (junior?) high school. I was like "Barbie Almalbis is sooo pretty! And suicidal!"

How did you get into #3?
I was having my "seasonal depression" and then I listened to Creep, Fake Plastic Trees and High and Dry.

What is your favorite song by #4?
I don't know haha. Maybe Crazy in Love.

How many times have you seen #9 live?
Never. Like they've disbanded when I was born and now there's only one Beatle left?

What is a good memory concerning #4?

Makatawa ko sa pangutana hahaha. None.

Is there a song by #8 that makes you sad?
"Parachutes"

What is your favorite song of #1?
Dapat plural 'to eh. "It's Dark and I Am Lonely", "When The Bough Breaks", "Belinda Bye Bye", "The Dance". Ganito na lang...lahat ng kanta nya sa Music From The Buffet Table.

How did you become a fan of #10?
Igan D'Bayan of The Philippine Star mentioned and hailed them in his column "Audiosyncrasy" years before they became famous. I trusted and believed him. I was probably already a fan even before I heard them. Parang ewan, 'no?

Hala ko.

2008-01-14T10:27:00.001+08:00

I started the year hoarding fakes. Popular, Fushigi Yuugi, The Beatles, Feist, Radiohead, Spice Girls/Destiny's Child/BEP etc., Coldplay Live 2003, Pet Shop Boys and Muse.

I watched Popular in high school instead of Dawson's Creek. Felicity was also too serious and heartbreaking for me. Everybody was crazy about Dawson and Joey. I even had a classmate we named Jen because she looked like her. We still call her Jen. But I was crazy over Mary Cherry. You couldn't blame me, I was a loser in high school. Could relate to some characters.

I don't know what Fushihi Yuugi is all about.

The Beatles. It IS The Beatles, man.

I was just curious with Feist. Quark Henares mentioned her in his blog.

I'm so sorry Radiohead. Had you not released your current album that way, I wouldn't have bought the freakin' 25php CD. Don't do that again.

Spice Girls et al. At Wembley, without Geri and with all the Harry Potter accent.

I don't think Chris Martin would mind if I bought it. With Gwyneth, that loot and genius, he could and should not complain.

I liked You Only Say You Love Me When You're Drunk and am curious with men in suits dining in the desert.

...and Papaya Man Edu Manzano shot me.

Ofs.

2008-01-14T08:08:00.001+08:00

PAG-AGOS

Up Dharma Down

At sa aking pagkubli
Hampas ng araw, pagdamdam ng gabi
Tulog ang iyong mga kamay
Di nako makapag-antay

Isang umaga muling aahon
At sisikat sa mga panahon
Na tayong pang dalawa
Masayang pagsasama

Buong araw ng pag-agos
Kailan ang huling unos
Di alam kung tatakbo
Kusang lalayo sayo

Isang umaga muli ng pag-iisa
Walang mayakap at makasama
Pusong pilit na sinugatan
Landas kong karaniwan

DULO NG DILA

Pupil

At meron lang naisip
nang merong mailagay
para lamang may laman
para lang merong kulay

Ano'ng kailangan mong marining?
Makasaysayan? Pandaigdig?
Ano'ng sinabi ng iyong dibdib?
Parang ganyan, ganyan, ganyan…

Sisindihan ko muna
nang aking maalala
makita ko na muna ang
mensahe na kilala

Hindi na baleng 'di marinig
hindi na baleng 'di mabatid
basta't nasabi ng aking dibdib
mensahe na walang laman

Of waiting. Of being hopeful. Of "Oo alam ko, maraming nagugutom sa mundo". Of walking and not getting tired of it. Of my red jacket that hasn't been washed because I believed your smell would become part of it. Of being a liar. Of lies almost becoming true when I said it, I almost cried. Of jadedness. Of not looking back. Of fireworks. Of getting lost to Baclaran. Of smelling crap. Of things unpacked when my flight was 4 hours away. Of lost mobile phones and therefore, lost messages. Of me trying.

A year ago.

Burn.

2008-01-04T17:30:00.000+08:00

AVID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Asan na ang Saving Sally? XD

"Crazileh."
- Quark Henares

Images from BURN Magazine.

Pisti kainit!

2008-01-03T14:08:00.000+08:00

Dalawang araw na akong palaboy-laboy dito, nagpipiktyur-piktyur. Parang di ako taga-dito noh? Wala lang. Sabi kasi ni Jini pichuran ko daw ang Davao, kaya ayun. Tsk dapat bumili na ako ng bagong memory stick para di ako upload ng upload. Anlaki naman kasi ng files, ayaw ko naman liitan ang resolution haha.

(Dear Asfer, palit na'g DSLR. Video camera na lang tingali akoa. CHARST.)

Ayun nga kanina, palaboy-laboy ako ke tanghaling tapat. Buti na lang may sidewalk at pwede akong sumilong, di tulad sa Cebu hahaha. Amf.

Hanggang Sabado na lang ako dito. Snap back to reality ulit.

Tomorrow is next year.

2007-12-31T12:32:00.000+08:00

a.k.a Dear God, Self, and People.

To God:

Thank you for giving me this year, a year of taking chances, holding on and letting go. I am weak but you gave me enough strength to get through the odds. Thank you for the people who believe in me and, at the same time, inspire me to always do better. Thank you for giving me a chance to meet and love new friends and love old friends even more. Thank you for the trying times, there is always something new to learn and reaffirmations about myself. Thank you for the patience on and understanding my trivialities. Thank you for 2007, I'm ready to take on 2008.

To Self:

Continue to be strong and patient. Know what you want and get it. Don't Panic (according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). Be responsible. Take down notes. Travel. Smile more. Laugh more. Love more. Get over it.

To People:

Thank you for the patience and understanding. I am a walking cosmic joke. Thank you for the love. It keeps me alive. Forgive me for my shortcomings. I'll lessen them next time. I suck at telling you how much I love and appreciate you being in my life. I'll try not to suck again.

Hello world.

2007-12-23T11:18:00.000+08:00

I haven't posted anything for more than a month and I don't even know what to say now.

Leseee...

I still couldn't get around the city by jeepney. The only route I know is 13C (that's not even the route, it's the jeepney number) which we sometimes take to go to Gaisano Country Mall and Ayala and rarely, Colon.

Speaking of Colon, I still couldn't tell its difference from Carbon. I think Colon is the street and Carbon is the market, or vice versa.

Everyday I get challenged by work but I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. I feel irresponsible and incompetent sometimes, though. I don't know. When you're new and a lot of things are thrown at you and you accepted the challenge in the first place, you can't complain. You should not. I'm just glad that I'm surrounded with people who believe in and trust me and make you laugh and have fun while working. Our TM-now-OM-Trainee always notices I'm smiling when I'm not yet hungry but I am when I'm grim. Asfer, Kim et al tease me with the RTA (I really think he's gay).

The PS Cebu year-end party sucked. We prepared for it and got disappointed.

We joined Chesca's team building at Pandanon Island. We needed to getaway for a while. We sumkinda snorkeled in Hilutungan also. In that "snorkeling" bit, I realized how scared I am with open water (I can't swim) even with a life jacket. They were telling me that it's OK to let go of the rope because I had my life jacket on but it was just difficult to trust blocks of styrofoam to keep you afloat, you know. I should be ashamed with this but I swear I nearly cried. I also realized that my difficulty to let go of the rope was the same with my struggle to let go of people I should move on from. That's why I came here. So, I slowly loosened my grip, took a deep breath, held on to my life jacket and floated and swam. Though I couldn't last long because I panicked, I learned I should just sometimes let go of the things that make me comfortable but never make me learn to survive and let go of the people who make me feel I'm being kept from loving others.

It's Christmas and I can't feel it. I just felt my pocket thinning up.

I will be spending New Year in Davao with my family. Yihey. I have to see the City Hall and Rizal Park and experience again a no-firecracker New Year.

Once when we played at Timezone, we exchanged 14 tickets for a cube. Jeff told me that if he could get it back to its form, I would treat him to Starbucks. You bet he did.

I just treated him for dinner because a large frapp wasn't enough for a famished stomach.

Happy Christmas everyone ☺

T's.

2007-11-15T09:03:00.000+08:00

"T*****a! Tarantado talaga 'to si Tarantino! I lab him!"
- Me while watching Kill Bill.

Paste.

2007-11-10T17:35:00.000+08:00

Go Kart.

Tsinelas.

After the rain.

Tissue dispensers.

Taranta-ted

2007-11-05T07:49:00.001+08:00

Ako na gyud, award-winning kaayo. Kay syempre di ba perstaym so wala ko kabalo unsay buhaton unya gikulbaan pa gyud ko kay kliyente na gud na. Tabangan pa jud ka.Tapos akong mga kauban wala kabalo unsay buhaton so nagkagidlay jud ko nuh? Unta tulo kabuok akong dalunggan aron natubag nako ug sabay ang tulo katawag di ba? Awarding ceremony pa gyud sa TM. Mao na ni. Humanda na lang ko unyang gabii kay malamang korneron ko ani hahaha.

Pero charge to experience na lang, at least nakatuon ko. CHAR. Haggard lang gyud. Dah TAGAM.

I hate numbers but then again...

2007-10-29T08:10:00.001+08:00

Your Inner or Soul's Urge: This is spiritual and emotional expression more than physical. It is your heart-felt desires, your incentive, how you look at life. Here are your areas of personal satisfaction.

Number: 7

Deep down, you desire the best life has to offer. This includes living your inner life in peace and silence. You have a keen sense of perfection and like to meditate and analyze, dissect, examine, and consider things from every angle. And you can definitely do without poverty, the transitory, and the noise and confusion of the business world.

You love huge libraries, old and well-maintained gardens, classic pictures, and time mellowed furniture. You are intellectual, scientific, philosophical, deeply intuitive, and a well of secrecy. You are sought after for your wisdom. Probably you are somewhat shy and deeply emotional, but with a horror of showing it.

For more complete personal understanding of life, work on expressing your emotions, trusting your feelings, less avoidance, and being sympathetic and understanding with people. You possess a tremendous inner wisdom.

Your Personality: This is physical expression more than spiritual or emotional; your outer self, the way you express when meeting others. It may or may not be the real you.

Number: 9

You have a magnetic personality, although sometimes appear to lack forcefulness. Your pleasing manner can influence others easily. When not interested, you can appear distant. Usually you appear generous, tolerant, idealistic, altruistic, artistic, and, at times, mystical.

You can seem to view life too seriously, especially when your emotions dwell on the negative.

Your personality is not helped by wearing black. To enhance your appearance and personality, wear colors; clothing that is comfortable but not careless.

Your Quiescent Self: Stripping away all outside influences, aspirations, ambitions, "shoulds", and "shouldn'ts" -- this is you when you are alone; just you and your dreams..

Number: 9

You are a great humanitarian, eager to be of service for the betterment of all humanity. You support and perpetuate effective social organizations whose goals are the helping of mankind. You Love the human race. You are a great artist and your works serve to inspire others on a broad scale.

Your thoughts and pleasure are being of selfless service to humanity in conjunction with personal Love and happiness.

Your Destiny or Ultimate Goal: This is your desired lifetime accomplishment. It is a key to a useful and happy life, and to feeling fulfillment during your latter days.

Number: 7

Your destiny is to be one of the educators of the world -- uncovering and understanding the mysteries of life; studying, proving, making sure of facts then writing, teaching, or demonstrating your knowledge to others.

Your quest for knowledge can bring you many unusual experiences and associations. You are intelligent, intuitive, scientific, a thinker, and a sage and you have far-reaching insight. You are an articulate and convincing spokesperson and a perfectionist, and would be at home in any executive position that did not involve machinery or the manufacturing departments.

You enjoy writing, inventing, philosophy, and religions.

Your Life's Path: Here are clues to what fate has in store for you. It indicates the type of encounters, events, and opportunities you are likely to experience along your physical life path.

Number: 5

Your path to holds frequent change, variety, travel, and the unexpected with a thorough mingling among humanity. You will grow by adapting yourself to change and uncertainty. Crowds and audiences appeal to you. You are passionately independent. You experience restlessness or impatience when things move along too slowly or when constant repetition becomes monotonous.

You sense that experience is the best teacher and that you learn best while you maintain your sense of individual freedom. You may have a tendency to misuse your freedom with over-indulgence of the senses, but that can be corrected by using your holistic sense of free will to go on to new adventures, and thereby discarding what no longer serves a purpose.

You have an innate ingenuity and can benefit from scientific, inventive, and resourceful people. You are versatile and clever. Things don't stay the same for long where you are.

You can understand all classes and conditions of people and can adapt yourself to unusual circumstances and conditions. Be alert to seize all that is novel and progressive. You profit by contact with other people.

From: http://www.willmaster.com/numerology/.

=====

I had nightmares the other night. Bed moved to a different position, me floating, dead people crowding my room, etc. And, I couldn't move. I wanted to wake Raymond up and request to sleep in his room just to give me peace of mind that there's an alive person with me but I didn't want inconvenience. So, I went next door and asked Ning-ning if I could sleep over. I went up to my old room and lay in a fetal position. I cried. I was scared, man. How very childish. Great.

It was my first time to be scaredshit like that. Previous nightmares were bearable. I don't know with the recent one. Asfer said it might be due to stress or whatever. I don't know. Perhaps, I got so scared because I couldn't control it (most of my dreams are lucid) and when I woke up, I could still "see" dead faces. Probably it was also because I was thinking of a ghost on our stairs (Ella said she saw one. Boohoho) before I went up to bed.

I've never had a pleasant dream in a very long time.

Bam!

2007-10-22T08:37:00.001+08:00

I don't know what happened but Mr. PD (or was it Mr. OM?) deleted ALL the pictures Asfer took using my phone during the CSAT Awarding. Gaaaaaah. They were supposed to be Bluetooth-ed, right? RIGHT? Raymond said they might have cut them from phone to PC. But you wouldn't cut and paste if you're using Bluetooth! I AM FUMING. If you didn't know how to use someone else's phone, you should've asked its owner how.

I want a Canon EOS 400D SLR in return. >:P

=====

They blasted Glorietta and they broke my heart. CHAR. It's smoking something fishy, though.

I got confused with Mr. Chief of Police's statement re: cause of the 1st explosion. He said that the crime scene smelt of gas when they arrived but they did not know what the cause was. The newscaster said it must be due to some gas leak then but Mr. Policeman said they're not yet sure. Eh?

If the air smells funky, then someone farted. End of story.

Color in sound waves.

2007-10-15T11:50:00.000+08:00

Crash into your fave music store and you'll not find this. Radiohead's new LP, In Rainbows, is only downloadable from their website. Great geek-ery. And they buzzed.

Eeeep.

2007-10-02T10:17:00.001+08:00

Okay so Billy and Risa have patched things up. N-O-C-O-M-M-E-N-T. Okay, I can't help it, I'll say something. Billy was on the verge of calling it quits but told him No, Give love another chance, and all that BS. I might've influenced him and now, they're lovebirds again. Emf. I should've told him, " Sus, pangita na'g lain uy. Nganong magmintinar man ka nya? Ako na lang gud!" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then just found out that Jim and Ma-anne broke up. Eeek. But Jim is saying they're still friends and lab each other... I couldn't say much because I don't have the full picture.

I hope for happiness for them, be it together or apart. CHAR UY.

By the way, I went to the barbershop and they chop-chopped my hair. I likes it. Others, too.

We went to Pump and Vudu. Crazily.

Rar.

2007-10-02T09:48:00.001+08:00

They surf-controlled my happiness (char happiness gyud).

I hate you, IT.

T_T

I theeenk...

2007-09-26T10:52:00.000+08:00

...it ended well.

OM and PD weren't that difficult to deal with. I just had to look a bit corporate and confident. Nervousness really kills me everytime. Anyhoo, I got over it quickly. My feet hurt.

I'm really thankful I'm surrounded by '22 (minus 2)'. They give me confidence which I, most of the time, lack. I pray I wouldn't fail them.

I'm so fat now. Great. I spend more time sulking at my work station, eating and sleeping than moving. Everyone has noticed my bloated-ness and I'm starting to worry. I'm not, however, doing anything about it.

Let me tell you this: I wish you had not known or met her then; things would've been different today, everything would have been totally different. I wouldn't be here and would've gotten over what needs to be gotten over with. I wouldn't be wishing what I had just said.

And let me tell you this: It's still here with me. But soon. I hope soon. God, why is it so difficult?

Yak emo.

I started to pick-up and read The Return of the King again. I guess I made a good decision not to bring all my unread books because they would just feel rejected here. I'd rather sleep than do anything. Well, I'm actually doing something: I'm sleeping. But anyway...

I hoarded books because I wanted to learn and unlearn. I even bought Anthropology books. Amf. I only got to read their 1st chapters. I get bored easily that's why most of my books are half-read or take a long time to get finished.

I'm going to make a list of places to go and things to do before I die.

Randomness is king.

Ella ella ella eh eh

2007-09-17T09:44:00.001+08:00

I'm loving Jiwa Music. I just hope it won't get surf-controlled. I need sanity in the office.

I like Umbrella, both the original (Rihanna) and the cover (Mandy Moore). Binayot na sad.

Met up with Shellac yesterday. Finally. We work in the same building/company and we're just one floor apart but our schedules just do not permit us to juragens anytime we want. Anyhoo, I'm soo happy (and shocked) to hear news about our some of our class/batchmates in high school:

1. That Mata (as in eyes haha) is gay and he only 'discovered' his sexuality in college;

2. That Panga (as in jaws) had a child when we were in 2nd year college and was unknown to all except from his friends and the girl and her parents (his parents were blind about it until after graduation);

3. That Eng-eng and Mats are getting married next year. Next year! After 7 years! Si Eng-eng! Ang bataon nga si Eng-eng! Okay, OA na. I wasn't suprised that they are tying the knot because we KNOW they will end up doing so. I wasn't prepared to hear they would do it soon.

4. That the boy Sir AnalGeom/All-The-Maths-In-The-World was close to was actually, unbeknownst to the boy, his son. Sir AnalGeom/All-The-Maths-In-The-World is gay.

5. That A LOT of the girls have their own offspring/s already.

And of course, we talked about our so-called you-know-what-lives.

I look back at how and what we were in high school and I don't wonder why we seem to be concerned and interested about each other's lives until now. Well at least to me, the LabSkulers are a huge part of, if I may borrow your term Shelle, my bittersweet symphony that was my adolescence. I didn't want to outgrow them. I wished I didn't have to attend to a different school to study the course I want in college so I could see us grow as adults. Now, I see how much have changed and stayed the same, how far we've gone and how much there is more out there. Despite success and failure, we will always be the USEP - LabSkulers, brayt. =) [Q: Asa diay ka nag-high school? A: Sa USEP. Q: Ay brayt diay ka!] =P

Wala lang.

2007-09-15T18:35:00.000+08:00

With Nes and Jones. Photos taken by Asfer.

Nung una kaming kumain dito (SM Cebu Branch), naiiyak ako kasi namimiss ko ang Sbarro sa SM MoA. Ngayon medyo okey na. SKL (share ko lang).

Yesh.[edited]

2007-09-08T11:40:00.000+08:00

Andaming nangyari the past 3 weeks (?) pero wala akong mai-blog. Buti na lang naka-chat ko si Jay at meron na akong pwedeng ipost. Piff.

INSTRUCTIONS: A person who gets tagged must write in his or her blog ten weird things or habits or little known facts about himself or herself. He or she should also state this rule
clearly. At the end, he or she should tag six other people, except the one who tagged him or her.

Di ako sure kung makukumpleto ko 'to.

1. As much as possible, hindi ako kakain ng beef. Almost 4 years na yata akong ganyan. Pero minsan nakakalimutan ko na usually ang burger ay may beef haha. Tsaka syempre pag naduduling na ako sa gutom at wala nang ibang choice, alangan namang mag-inarte pa ako.

2. Nag-ipon ako ng YoungStar (Friday Lifestyle section ng Philippine Star) for I'm-not-sure-how-many years. Basta from high school to college. Andun pa rin sila, nakatago sa boxes.

3. Nung 3rd and 4th year college ako, nadedepress ako every October. Ewan ko ba. Seasonal topak. Tinamad akong pumasok, ayokong kausapin mga kaibigan at classmates ko, lagi akong
nakasimangot, kung anu-anong ka-emo-han naiisip ko at lagi ako sa library.

4. May crush ako nung college, kasamahan ko sya sa isang org. Nung Activity Period, nagmeeting kami pero wala sya. Nakasalubong ko sya sa may Registrar's Office nung natapos ang meeting. Kasama nya ang girlfriend nya (pero di pa ako sure na gelpreng nya yun) tapos mejo nasyak/nadismaya ang lola nyo:

Crush: Oi ano musta?
Ako: (tarantated) *ohmygod ang pogi shet* Uhm ok lang. *okey na ba ngiti ko?*
Crush: Kumusta ang meeting? Ano'ng napag-usapan nyo?
Ako: Uh.. *shet girlfriend mo ba 'to?* Uh.. ewan ko..
Crush: Ha? Hahaha anong ewan? Wala kayong pinag-usapan?
Ako: Ewan ko. Nakalimutan ko eh.

Grabe, ang engot di ba? Hello mental block?

5. Most often than not, I don't ask for directions pag gumagala akong mag-isa at feeling ko medyo naliligaw na ako. Halimbawa, noong napunta akong Baclaran nang hindi ko namamalayan haha. Galing akong SM MoA nun, nanood ng fireworks display eh walang sasakyan pauwi dahil hindi makapasok sa sobrang dami ng tao kaya sumabay na lang ako sa crowd. Tapos may intersection, di ko alam san ako liliko kaya nilakad ko yung apat na intersection na yun haha.
Pabalik-balik ako nun amf. To make the story short, may naamoy akong medyo masangsang tapos may mga ilaw at binibenta. "Lord, ito na ba ang Baclaran? Wow." ang statement ko. E diba may bus mula Baclaran pa-Buendia/Ayala? Ayun sumakay ako haha. Noong January 'to nangyari, ilang oras lang bago ako pumuntang Cebu at umuwi ng Davao.

6. Napapagalitan ako ni Papa noon dahil hindi ako nagche-cheer for Ateneo sa UAAP. Wala daw akong loyalty blah blah. May instinct kasi ako na kumampi sa underdogs. Tapos nasermonan talaga ako nung pinagtawanan ko si Villanueva at nung nagcheer ako para sa La Salle. Sabi ko high school pa lang fan na ako ng La Salle tas sabi nya hindi na raw dapat ganun haha. Nung nagchampion ang FEU sa Finals against ADMU, sobrang saya ko hahaha pero di ako makatili/sigaw/talon kasi dapat ipakitang nagluluksa ako sa pagkatalo ng Ateneo.

7. I do my own laundry kahit anong mangyari. (Uh weird ba 'to?) Gusto ko kasi 'personalized' at ayokong amoy laundry shop ang mga damit ko. Di rin pala ako nagpaplantsa ng damit.

8. Sooper rare lang akong mag-soy sauce. Matagal na rin akong ganyan, halos kasabay lang ng No Beef Policy ko. Wala lang.

9. Hindi ko nararamdamang rest day ko 'pag hindi ako nakagala or at least nakalabas ng bahay at napuntang somewhere kahit saglit lang. Mabilis kasi akong ma-bore.

10. Takot ako sa sili at ayoko sa maanghang dahil noong bata pa ako (nikwento lang 'to ng lola ko saken) nimudmod at kinain ko raw yung mga siling tumubo sa ilalim ng puno sa bukid nila. Nung nakita nya ako, iyak na raw ako ng iyak. Sabi ko raw sa lola ko, "inaway" ako ng sili.

Ayun, natapos rin. Sumagot lang ang gustong sumagot sa echos na 'to :)

======

Nagkasakit ako ng tatlong araw (may konting sipon at ubo pa ako ngayon). But I'm not complaining because I hoped for this matagal na (since February yata). Weird ba? It's been raining here for days. I like rain. But I don't like mud, and there's a lot in our subdivision. When it rains, it... muds. Haha. Ay corny. The soil's clay-ish and brown and really annoying when we're going to work because we have to trek and all. Hmp.

======

Ayokong mag-emo ngayon. Hay naku.

======

'Yang may mga tinatago, umamin na. Sus.

'Yang mga echosero, wag maging kuntento sa pagiging echosero lang.

Hello? Am I making sense?

Tseh.

2007-08-25T19:45:00.000+08:00

Kabalo ko nga BAYOT kaayo akong template. Kalimot pud ko asa nga kanta gikan ang naa dinha sa image (kabalo ko sikat na sya nga kanta pero kung nakalimot gyud diay ko beh >:p). Sus, 6 hrs. na yata ko nagtutok diri sa computer, kapoy na ilis. Mouli na ko kay basin nangmata na 'tong akong housemates, magjuragens baya daw mi haha.

Sige, babay.

I should be talking.

2007-08-25T17:06:00.000+08:00

I've been in Cebu for more than a month already but I don't think I have talked about how it is and how I am being here. Alright so...

Cebu is so relaxed but work is haggardness. Raymond complains of boredom but I feel I'm living on a fast lane. Maybe because right now, I'm doing things that are very new to me and I get excited I never notice time. Mona had asked me for nth times if I'm happy here and with what I do. I can't say yes because I'm not even sure if I am. What I know is I love discovering places, learning and doing new things and getting challenged by them. Work is demanding but I don't want to stagnate.

Most of the time, it is humid here. Not that Manila is any different (although the weather there is pretty eff-ed up right now), but remember that Cebu is an island. Iitim ako dito.

Something won't become a cliche if there's no truth about it. This is very shallow but I miss Glorietta, Greenbelt and SM MoA. I complained of being routinary when I go there: I do the same things, I walk the same route, I go to the same stores. Now, SM is the only place outside Unit #3 that makes me feel 'home'. I've developed a certain attachment to these places: I missed Ratatouille because I couldn't imagine myself watching it anywhere than G4. Also, the film festivals! I haven't bought a new CD because I don't feel like buying if it isn't in MusicOne or Tower Records. When my housemates and I ate at Sbarro, it almost made me cry because I missed Sbarro Mall of Asia (since I started going to MoA [alone most of the time and almost every Saturday], I ate 'breakfast' there at 10am, first thing they open). They said there's Powerbooks at Ayala Mall but I'm prepared for the worst.

Although I'm enjoying my company here, there's no replacement of the people I left behind. I miss Cathy and Dexton and their petty to serious fights, Jini and everything I am with her, dudes Lynn, Alvin and supe Anne and all the mushiness, Billy and the butterflies and rainbows around, laughter and ice creams, Dexter and the supervisor-agent un-relationship, Jim and not speaking in Bisaya-conio, Mommy Vol and the sooper hugs, Ate Food Provider and her niceness, Kuya Dennis and the endless supply of Inquirer, Herald Tribune and Wall Street Journal, Rhea and her singing, the bloggers I met, Gwini and the girls of Unit 3312, Reijiro and his laughter and brilliance... the list goes on.

I shall learn riding jeepneys with numeric and alphabetical designations.

You could say I miss Manila. Yes, I do despite garbage, black clouds of carbon monoxide, unpredictable weather, mechanical and human noise, the craziness. I will go back there but I'm afraid it won't be that soon.

He said, "I just think you're depressed."

2007-08-20T09:48:00.000+08:00

Tambuli aftenoon. More photos at Ishtorm and in here (You need to sign up to view. Bleah).

======

I like Amy Winehouse. I just.

Imbyernaloo.

2007-08-16T05:18:00.001+08:00

"Rowee, pano 'to?"

Ewan ko! Kasi diba dapat sinasabi muna kung ano'ng problema bago ko masasagot ang tanong nyo? Diba? Ay naku nakakakulot kayo ng buhok sa ilong ha!

Perstayms.

2007-08-13T08:36:00.000+08:00

Plum-colored nails. I had my nails painted plum last Fuhriday. Wala lang, tinopak lang ako. Itim nga sana yun eh kaso wala.

Curiosity didn't kill the cat / I feel numb. Nalasing ako. HAHAHA. Boipdey ni (Lolo) Tedz nung Sabirdey at pinlano ko talagang uminom at malasing. Hindi pa ako nalasing ever dahil hindi naman ako umiinom (iced tea at tubig lang ang tinotoma ko). Ayun napainom nila ako ng brandy-ng may halong kung ano, gin na may halong Gatorade na lasang McFloat Bubble Gum, at Red Horse. Uu, ang mabaho at sobrang pait na Red Horse. Mga nakadalawa o tatlong baso yata ako ng Red Horse (at nakailang lagok ako ng dalawang una) tapos parang wala lang. Sabi ko sa mga kasama ko "I feel numb" tuwing nalagok ako kasi nga parang tinutubig ko na lang sya hahahuhu. Lagi ko rin silang tinatanong kung mukha ba 'kong lasing, sabi nila hindi raw kasi hindi ako namumula or mukhang senglot pero sa totoo lang hilong-hilo na 'ko. Sabi nga nila lasenggera na raw ako huhu.

Dun kami natulog sa bahay nila (Lolo hehe) Tedz kasi brownout samen. Paggising ko, wow ganun pala ang hang-over? Shiyet, now I know. Finally nasuka na ako pag-uwi ng bahay. Dun ko na naamoy at nalasahan ang Red Horse. AMF ampanget talaga.

w/ Nes, ang dakilang alalay (peace dude). More.

May tumubong allergy sa kamay ko woot.

I'm trying not to complain.

2007-08-03T19:01:00.000+08:00

Really.

GAAAAAAAAAAAH! ="|

See?

@.@

Hey hey I like greenery so...

Charmus.

2007-07-30T01:39:00.001+08:00

I just had first real supe call 30mins. after I logged in. Wow.

No, I'm not an official supervisor. Let's just say I'm a team OIC. I call myself a pseudo-supe, management calls me a LiL. My functions are similar to an actual supervisor minus the pay and full access to some drives and files.

In Manila, most of the LiLs (Leaders in Learning) were agents who applied for a supervisory position. Kim said what happened to me was better than most of my Manila counterparts because it was offered to me though I never expressed a desire to become a supervisor: I don't need to prove anything to the Ops management. Sandy, the team manager, is aware that my priority is Quality Assurance and not Operations and is welcome to idea that I may just transfer if I'm "no longer happy".

Having said that, I still have to do well though. Right now, there are 12 agents under me and most of them are newbies. There's a lot coaching to do and I still need familiarize myself with this whole supervisorial blah. Oh meeen.

======

Like today (er...tonight's shift), ako lang mag-isa. Rest day ni Sandy. Mamayang alas-kwatro pa ng umaga darating si Raymond (which is endshift ko na). Buti na lang nag-OT si Kim, may floorwalker ako kasi kung hindi, mas warat pa ako ngayon. Hay.

======

Lynn, dude pare 'tol! Apir!

Hala ka duts!

2007-07-26T05:14:00.001+08:00

I committed myself to something I don't have a clear idea what I was putting myself into. I've heard my friends complain and witnessed how overworked and undercompensated they were/are but I agreed to do the job. I don't know if I should be thankful for this whole thing or I'm in for another joke. Well, welcome to Cebu.

---

Thanks dudes. I hearts you. Hahaha!

Gibberish.

2007-07-23T10:12:00.000+08:00

Cebu is fine. So far. I hope I could talk more about it soon. Steady lang.

Eto lang masasabi ko sa 'yo: Echosero ka, tse!

I miss Glorietta, Greenbelt and SM Mall of Asia hahahuhuh =|

Laurence said he'll also be in Cebu by, er, this week(?). You're just joking, right?

Jikub, salamat nga pala sa Gilmore Girls, CSI Las Vegas at sa Quiapo experience.

I've uploaded some "leaving on a jet plane" photos on my Multiply site. More Cebu pichurs at Raymond's blog. Raymond is one of our supervisors and the Monggo Squad leader.

Gwini ug Jini, na-upload na nako inyong pichurs! Isubmit dayon sa FHM! =|

Here.

2007-07-22T13:00:00.000+08:00

This is it.
Mahangin ba sa labas?
We've landed.
Trexie, Pat, Mona, Kim, Nes, Roan. (sa likod: Tedz and Wilford meet again)
Team Cebu
Team Cebu 2
Spaghetti Party: Ella, Trexie, Ning-ning, Tedz, Kim, Nes, me
Inom tayo Sandy!
Sa I.T. Park: Win, ako, Ning-ning, Kim, Nes

Yung ibang pichurs, next time na lng amf.

Speech?

2007-07-19T08:14:00.001+08:00

Permission to emo.

Jini - Sa makausa pa, pasaylua gyud ko. I shall return. Ampingi akong mga libro mam palihog maluoy ka. Bantayi na si Grasya wahaha :|

Cathy - Sorry pinaiyak din kita. Ganun talaga, kailangan din nating magdesisyon para sa sarili natin. Nagdesisyon kang umalis at gusto ko rin ng pagbabago. Tandaan mo, at lagi ko 'tong sinasabi sa 'yo, babalik ako. Pakialagaan naman mga gamit ko wokokok.

Dexter - I so love the orange smiley sling :D. Di ko inasahang magiging kaibigan kita sa itsura mong yan hahah juk lang. Noong nalaman ko na nasa final list ako for Cebu at pumunta ako sa 'yo, sabi ko lang "Dexter..." pero parang nabasa mo kung ano'ng inisip at naramdaman ko. Charing may connection? Haha. Tsaka about dun chorba ko, tae ka talaga. Psych graduate ka nga. Anyway, kita kits soon. Daan ka dito bago kang pumuntang Singapore. XD

Billy - Wawness talaga, I'm so tats sa ice cream. Thank you sa happyness. Di mo lang alam. Ay naku, ayoko nang mag-assume pero shet hindi ko maiwasang mag-isip na pwede nga kung well... pwede lang :|. Anyhoo, alagaan mo lang lagi tyan mo ha.

Annaloren - Shet kumpleto gyud ang pangalan. Huy mam, supervisor na ka. I mean, yung ibang level na supe haha. Wag mo masyadong turuan ng kalokohan ang agents mo :P

Pearl - Time of your life na ninyo 'to ni Anna. Yey. Wak masyadong maldita.

Alvin, Lynn, Kyth, Chrystal, supe Anne, and P for Poul - Mamimiss ko ang hintayan at pusit sessions natin after shift. Itago nyo lab notes ko, dudes.

Jenloy - Dali sunod diri! Wohoo!

Gwini - Salamat sa suporta hehe.

Jikub - Alam mo na yun ="""|

Kim and Nes - Let's rock Cebu, dudes! \m/

Mother-packer.

2007-07-12T08:16:00.001+08:00

I'm so excited with my relocation that I haven't even started packing yet. Alright, perhaps I'm still in denial. I also want to think that this was my choice and that I wasn't held at knife's point when I made it. But actually this is 50% choice (mine), 45% responsibility ( feelingera man gud ko >:P) and 5% bahala na attitude which equals to a 100% of life-changing flight.

I still have a lot to say to so many people I will be leaving behind but due to time constraints and other factors, I might not be able to. I have been giving out lab notes to some officemates since last week just to show them how I deeply appreciate their friendship. Haha nagdadrama kasi ako.

Blaaaah.

And oh oh, salamat sa lahat ng nakaalala ng habirdey ko. Aylabyoo.

So there XD.

2007-07-11T07:45:00.001+08:00

Merry birthday sa kambal kong si Belle! Yey~

Yun lang. Bow.

The 4 Play

2007-07-08T19:15:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Gwini.

4 JOBS I'VE HAD:
- yaya
- labandera
- pseudo-writer and editor
- call girl

4 MOVIES I'VE WATCHED OVER & OVER
- My Best Friend's Wedding
- The Lord of the Rings
- Love Actually
- Finding Nemo

4 PLACES I'VE LIVED
- Davao
- Lanao del Sur
- Manila
- Cebu (soon :P)

4 TV SHOW/STATIONS I LIKE TO WATCH
(I haven't been watching TV that much since I've become a corp slave so allow me to change it to 'LIKED')
- Amazing Race
- Gilmore Girls
- America's Next Top Model
- Betty La Fea (hahaha!)

4 PLACES I'VE BEEN ON VACATION
- Cebu
- Tarlac
- n/a
- n/a
(I'm so adventurous)

4 OF MY FAVE FOODS
- pasta
- ice cream
- junk food
- books (yes, I eat them. Pfft.)

4 PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
- the moon
- Greece
- Great Britain (because I want to have a Brit accent hahaha!)
- where James McAvoy is right now

Yey~

Where to?

2007-07-08T16:30:00.000+08:00

I don't want to talk about it.

====================

Dear dear,

Caveat: This is going to be a mess.

What do you really want from me? What am I to you? What's with the Yung-akala-mo-biro-ay-totoo-pala-at-ang-akala-mong-totoo-ay-biro-pala statement? Taena ginagago mo ba 'ko? I thought I could move on with your "help" but with how things really are, I guess I have to move on from you. They say that something you don't know won't hurt you but I'm glad I found out the truth before I turn into your disemboweled stuffed toy. How cute.

Okay so I'll just take things as they are and I won't expect anything more than what you are giving me right now. I'm so tired of getting disappointed. Probably I assumed more than I should. Oh, how you misled me.

Everything is heartbreaking but I choose to carry a happy face towards you and the cosmic joke I'm in right now. I'm afraid I'm turning into a cynic as much as I don't want to. These kind of things are traumatic and I seem to be helpless. I always tend to blame only myself for every mess I get myself into and it's definitely never psychologically and emotionally helpful to me.

It's difficult not to cast a blame on you. I don't know your intentions but you led me to believe in things distant from what you actually mean or where you are trying to lead me to. I've been telling you to cut it off but you don't take it seriously. Well anyway, I will be leaving soon so I just hope I'd get better when I'm there.

Love,
Me

They like to move it move it.

2007-06-28T05:26:00.001+08:00

Our departure has been moved again to a later date (yihey); they said it's final.

Miskin unsa kadugay, maka-move on man gyud diay ang tao noh? Aw unta. Wohoho.

Sunset.

2007-06-24T16:42:00.000+08:00

Darkness falls.

Fire in the sky.

God makes orange juice and spills it every 6pm.

Boulevard by the bay.

*Location: SM Mall of Asia. More photos here.

/Yet another long post

2007-06-24T15:19:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I'm leaving in 2 weeks, probably July 6 or 7. I thought we would leave for Cebu on the 3rd week of July --- I could still celebrate my birthday here and spend more time with the people I would be leaving behind --- but alas, they need us there ASAP.

Ewan ko ba. Nag-volunteer ako sa pag-aakalang pwede ko pang bawiin ang desisyon ko at pwede rin akong hindi mapiling ilipat. 50/50 pa ako nung ininterview ako ng Manager at akala ko talaga may isa pang interview na pwede pa akong bumagsak o mag-retract. Nagdesisyon akong magpalipat sa Cebu kasi feeling ko wala na akong dahilan para manatili dito. After the 1st interview, I looked for and counted a lot of reasons why I should stay so when the 2nd and final interview comes, I could still retract. Pero walang nangyaring 2nd interview. Pinagpilian na kaagad kami at noong nilabas na ang final list, syempre parang nakakahiya nang umurong. Alam kong maiinis o di kaya'y magagalit at madidismaya sila sa akin 'pag ginawa ko yun, ako pa naman ang pinaka-vet sa grupo.

Ngayong may mga rason na ako para manatili, saka naman hindi na pwede mag-backout. Sabi nga ni Billy, kanino bang kasalanan 'to? Sino ba ang dapat sisihin? At obvious ang sagot.

Ayokong sabihin na mali ang desisyon kong 'to, dahil sa tingin ko ay hindi. Inisip ko rin ang maaaring maging consequences and I prepared for it. Although, emotionally hindi pa siguro. Sabi ko nga, I want to take risks again. May gusto kasi akong patunayan sa sarili ko at sa ibang tao. Ang nakakalungkot lang ay kailangan mayroon akong iiwan o di kaya'y iantala.

Sus, kung makapagsalita naman ako parang hindi na ako babalik. Anim na buwan lang naman ang requirement ng kontrata pero malay natin, baka umabot ako ng isang taon depende sa pangangailangan ng account. Kaya nga iiwan ko ang ilan sa mga gamit ko para may dahilan pa ako para bumalik. Basta alam kong babalik ako, mga next year?

========================

You always station at the same spot. You like it when I wear orange. You candidly told me why you prefer to wear long shorts though I don't think there was a need to. You talk like a kid. You prefer women's scent and I told you my cologne smells like men's. Because of that, you say I'm male and I tell you you're female. You make me laugh. You use a pink GDS (global distribution system) and it disturbs me. [Me: May pink syang GDS! Friend: So? Me: Hello?! Friend: Men can use pink! Me: This is not right. Or I'm just stereotyping. Friend: Oo nga. Me: Pero pink?! I use pink as a text color but NOT as a background color! Friend: Tumigil ka.] Nevertheless, you make me feel like a giggly high school kid again.

2007-06-23T07:18:00.001+08:00

I'm a giggly high school kid these days. *blush blush*

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Too bad this won't last long because I will(?) be somewhere a bit far in, like, 3 weeks?

Hu. Hu. Hu.

=========================

Leche bagsak ko sa exam bwahahaha! One point na lang unta. ONE POINTSES! Si Dexter nipasa, ako wala unya 1 pt. lang among diprensya! Ingon nya nabagsak daw ko kay nagslouch ko katong training (hate ni Ma'am Trainer ang nagaslouch). Gi-minus-an daw ko'g 1 pt. Leche gyud ni si Dexter uy. Aw.

Them (blurred) photos.

2007-06-17T16:29:00.000+08:00

Because my hands weren't steady or the subject/s were moving when they were taken.

***At Music Malvar KTV

Nenia, Lisa, Kyth and her boyfriend

Win and Reijiro in This Love.

Birit: Jeff and Raymond in Making Love Out of Nothing At All

Raymond

And in other news:

IATA exam (sana pumasa ako :|)

To or not to.

2007-06-17T12:40:00.000+08:00

Okay so I volunteered for Cebu. Pearl actually volunteered me and I didn't refuse. The opening of another center in Cebu has been a buzz since early this year and I'm really considering about joining. My reason then was more of moving on slash there's-really-nothing-for-you-here-you-came-for-the-wrong-reasons kind of emo crap. Now, my reasons are the aforementioned and something work-related.

I have been feeling crappy and jaded for months now and I think I need something new or a little different. There's been a lot of resignations (and still counting) at work and I can't help but feel hopeless. Ok, I was near to resigning last January 2006 but I thought I just needed a break. So I did. Then the thought of giving up came back late last year to early this year but I didn't materialize it because I really enjoyed my micro team. The people I was working (and still work with) kept me going.

Then last month, I broke down. In front of Cathy and Dexter. At the office. It was really Cathy who was very outspoken about our dissatisfaction with work. We've had enough. I told Dexter probably I just need a break or I'm affected by the sudden exodus of some of my officemates/friends. I cried when I talked to him. Then probably after an hour or so, I talked to Raymond. I felt sore and 'leaking'. Every time Raymond would talk to me, tears start to well up. I was emotional for a couple of weeks, I think. Geez, I was so unprofessional and felt like a weakling. I hated getting up to work. I hated the sight of the Operations floor. I couldn't stand seeing my headset and putting it on and hearing/listening to my customer's concerns. My officemates and friends kept talking about unhappiness and dissatisfaction and leaving almost all the time. I was constantly unbelievably super late every fucking day. Everything was depressing.

And then the Cebu thing. Right now, I'm 60% sure I'll go for it if ever I'd be selected as one of the pioneering 20 agents. I'm being discouraged by some people because see, what's so different about going to Cebu? I'd still handle the same account, do the same work and work with and under the same management. If I want something different, they say, resign and do something else. But see, I still want to pursue travel. I've learned a lot about the travel industry and more because of this account. Heck, I'm even IATA-trained. After some not-so-deep deep thinking (pfft), I decided to give it one last try.

Some may think I'm making a selfish decision. Probably they're right. I want to do it for myself or for whatever is lacking in me that I want to fill. I can't help but feel bored most of time probably because I'm not very adventurous (read: I go to the same places every week). I feel stagnant, rusty, dead. I want to challenge myself, wander into the unknown, let go of some things. I want to take a risk (again). I did it more than 2 years ago and I feel I need to do it again, this time.

I'm a little scared, though. I don't know what will really happen to us in Cebu. A lot of things depend on us when we get there. We should act as role models and leaders; the responsibility of setting up and pioneering the account is overwhelming. They said we are required to stay there for at least 6 months (they scrapped the initial 18 months stay requirement). Good thing Raymond, whom I deeply respect and trust, will be one of the supervisors there. I don't know if he knows this but I would've been gone a long time ago if it weren't because of his "little speeches" about choices and his tenacity and positivity.

Basta, I'm not yet final about Cebu. People and things to consider. Comfort zones to break. Hay Lord tabangi ko.